Ethnicity: Undetermined

Leaving the US for New Zealand, Bryan and Jane knew that there would be some cultural differences in their new country that might be jarring. Unusual phrases and words, for instance, like "good on ya'", "no worries", and "jandals" were only to be expected in a land that not only separated from Britain centuries after the US did but also existed in relative isolation. Different geography, different people, different culture. The one thing they did not expect was having to try to figure out how to define themselves in relation to this new culture.

Like good British descendents, Kiwis are obsessed with their familial and ethnic identifications. Knowing that your grandfather came from County Cork and settled in New Plymouth while your grandmother came from Glascow and settled in Wellington are your tickets to a past that a country as young and as muddled as New Zealand can't offer you. Once you've figured out your half-Irish, half-Scottish, all-Kiwi identity, though, you then have to reconcile that with the fact that there are 4 million people living around you who are not that at all. After all, New Zealand wasn't an escape just for former Brits and Irish but also for Germans, the Dutch, Chinese, Koreans, Indians, Samoans, Tongans, Fijians, and many others. There's also the native Maori populations to consider. With all of this diversity, it is no wonder that the simple nature of the human mind demands some kind of categorization, some way for people living, for the most part, in a foreign land to figure out who is just like them and who is not. That is where the unique Kiwi classification system comes in.

Bryan and Jane were first introduced to Kiwi ethnic categories when they went to sign up for a medical center. New Zealand, being a proper Socialist state, provides health care to all of its citizens, residents, and people with work visas, but you must register with a particular medical practice before you can reap the minimal benefits of your extraordinarily high taxes. So one day while Bryan was at work, Jane wandered up to a medical practice located in a little house just a few blocks from their home to sign them up. Just like signing up with any doctor, there are forms to fill out, detailing your basic medical history and other relevant information that your medical care provider might need - like your billing address. Jane dutifully ticked the boxes related to family and person medical history but became stumped when asked to check off her's and Bryan's ethnicity. There were only four choices: European, Asian, Pacific Islander, and Maori.

Of course, taking into account the source of this question, the correct response for the Smiths would be European. The medical centers in New Zealand ask this question because the current medical opinion is that different ethnic groups experience disease differently, and so your doctor needs to know what your genetic background is so he/she can treat you appropriately. But the broader implications of such a question made Jane not automatically tick the European box. Hadn't Americans proved through centuries of war and political policy that they were not Europeans? Couldn't Bryan and Jane have different medical problems than Europeans since none of their family had lived in Europe for at least three generations? What about the fact that they were both mutts, both a cornacopia of European ancestries? What if some Native American, Middle Eastern, Asian, or African genes had slipped into their genome at some point in the distant or not so distant past? Would they still be European? After all, whether or not they knew it, all Europeans are actually mutts, the products of a torrid history that many of them would like to forget.

With all of this in mind, Jane decided that it would be irresponsible of her to label herself and Bryan as Europeans, and so she took advantage of the small space at the bottom of the form to draw an arrow from the Ethnicity heading and write in "American."